I have been staying at the Empress Jamyls pleasure for the last couple of months in a clean but Spartan facility for those who have been rather naughty.
Lets just say that if the hooker your "talking" to happens to let it slip that she is a distant relation to the Imperial family, she may not be bullshitting, and you probably shouldn't tie her up and carry her off for a "private" weekend.
Turns out I am not all that good for company and hookers have some pull with the local authorities and can sometimes actually be distantly related to the Imperial family...go figure.
Anyway, I had to take a rookie ship...yuck, I know!...to my nearest stash of ships.
Hek was alive with the usual scum and smack talking pod jockeys, griefers, pirates and dirty, dirty people. God I love you all. I breathed deep of the armpitty magnificence of the Boundless creation station docking ring atmosphere and felt at home for the first time in months.
My heart beat faster as then double reinforced doors of the ship hangar whined open, revealing my personal stash of cheap ass rifters :)
Jumping into Dakka Boat Mk...meh lost count probably 5 or 6, I sent a message with the name of some likely war targets to a buddy of mine who is e- navy and has some contacts that can locate people and stuff for me from time to time.
The Scumsuker is in Rens Solar System, came the word, those agents have filthy mouths by the way.
"Which one of you Scumsuckers is calling this Scumsucker a Scumsucker?"
Setting destination for Rens is burned there as fast as the reconditioned poorly loved engines of my humble Rifter could carry me.
Sure enough my Target was in local, duh I am the most sneaky WT hunter :)
I don't trust "third parties" to do the eyes and ears thing. I will either catch you when your guard is down, you're sucking harder than you usually do or I play dumb, am dumb or just get lucky and shit works out.
I then played how many times can I fuck up a tackle in one night with my unwilling target, Alex Rurik, whom I am sure had a few laughs at my derping and herping. But it kept me busy for a while. Long enough for some WT in another corp to find me and complicate the situation.
Kawikaze and his mate Arteegas turn up within a few minutes of each other and the situations got a lot more interesting.
Kawai was zipping around in a Dramiel and Arteegas was happily floating off the station in a Hurricane.
My Rifter, I am sorry Dakka Boat, I felt was not up to the task. I was probably more me than the Rifter to be honest, but lets blame the tools :)
So I dick around in system for a bit bouncing off gates, and stations, and planets, hoping to get them so dizzy they mess their pods or something, and tried to come up with a plan.
Half an hour later my brain still failed to provide me with a master plan. So I made a deal with it;
"Brain I said" no really I did, "If I give you some nice pancakes with jam and cream, will you give me a master plan in return." My Brain being a sucker for yummy food, I knew would come through with the right stimulus.
"Deal." Said my Brain.
So I docked up, and went off to make some yummy brain candy, and hopefully blue ball my fans for a while.
Some cooking and half a stack of pancakes later;
Ding!
Thank you Brian, I had a plan.
Mainly being a frig pilot, and on the verge of Destroyer 5, yes I have not trained anything larger, not a single skill point. I figured the Hurricane was not going to pop before he could de-agress and dock to the godly deepeee-eeess of my shitty gunnery skills,
"So," said my Brain, "We have to kill the Dram."
"OoooooKaaaay," I said a bit dubiously.
Never having faced a Dram and lived before, in any of my Eve Incarnations, I was doubtful I could do it.
But as two of my Fellow Rebs, who yes I say with all truth I may have a bit of a boy-crush on.
Scyclone says that ships are made for exploding, and DARKSTAR lives by the jumpin balls deep credo of a rottweiler on smack. He fears nothing and gets amazing results because of it. Honestly all the Rebz are pretty amazing, some of the stuff I have seen may be starting to rub off. (Not in a boy-crush kinda a way though!)
The Plan (as outlined by my Brain)
Thrasher's I had heard somewhere could be useful in killing Dramiels if used properly.
Drams are fast, have drones, and good gun bonuses.
I know they excel at kitting, and can either win or just run away if things are not going well.
Plus he had a buddy in a cane.
1. Fit anti Dram Thrasher. I had to track well, have decent range, be able to kill his MWD if he had one, and hold him in place if he had an afterburner. I figured it would be dual prop, I needed some kind of tank that would not slow me down, and a prop mod that would mean I was surprisingly fast even when scrammed.
The Ship
[Thrasher, Anti Dram...I hope]
Gyrostabilizer II
Damage Control II
X5 Prototype I Engine Enervator
J5b Phased Prototype Warp Scrambler I
10MN Afterburner I
125mm Gatling AutoCannon II, Barrage S
125mm Gatling AutoCannon II, Barrage S
125mm Gatling AutoCannon II, Barrage S
125mm Gatling AutoCannon II, Barrage S
125mm Gatling AutoCannon II, Barrage S
125mm Gatling AutoCannon II, Barrage S
125mm Gatling AutoCannon II, Barrage S
5W Infectious Power System Malfunction
Small Anti-EM Screen Reinforcer I
Small Core Defence Field Extender I
Small Core Defence Field Extender I
2. Get out of station and warp off with out being space boat violenced.
3. Hope my adversaries do what I think they would. Also hope they would make a couple of advantageous mistakes.
4. Warp back to station and burn closer to undock and align to celestial, just in case.
I am new to pvp and I also hate station games. I did not want this to be a see who can dock the fastest pissing up the wall contest. I also had no neutral RR fleet on stand bye or any kind of back up. I was on my own and determined to at least be a tad manly about it.
Cane undocks, 128 k off, good plenty of room and a bit of distance buffer for a warp to buddy not immediately possible.
Dram undocks and warps off to a celestial that may provided a warp in close to me.
So far soo good...
I flew on towards a nearby planet slow boating it with my prop mod off, I was hoping I could keep my cruiser afterburner a surprise.
The dram warps in at about 47 k. The Hurricane was burning to me all this time, he was about 80 k off, if he had thought about it, thank the R1FTA God he did not, he should have burned away from me to be able to warp in when the Dram had me tackled.
One mistake in my favour :)
Dram burned at me, I lit the 10MN AB up and over heated the fuck out of it. Scram hot, Guns hot, web hot. No turning back, all or nothing.
The Dram made the mistake I was hoping for, he did not spiral in enough to escape the 1200m/sec the cruiser AB gave me, and sling shotted into scram and web range. As soon as he hit 10 k scram, guns, and then web. I spammed approach and hoped. The AB kept me within about 2500 m the whole fight. The fast tracking 125 mm AC's with long range ammo were hitting very well.
In the end he popped and I limped off in 27% armour.
Some how the Hurricane got in on the KM, but no shots were fired at myself or his buddy during the fight as far as I know. Perhaps they were stuffing around when they were bored station camping me.
We have all done it, but then the docking session change would have cleared that as far as I know...not sure.
At worst it was a third mistake in my favour...all good :)
My first Dram kill. Probably not a big deal in reality, but a big deal for me and I think a step in my evolution as a pvper.
Ok, tl;dr...I don't blame you.
Was a fun night for me, and I cannot thank the EvillMoon guys enough for coming out and playing.
They have been great sports during the war, and we have reached our Month anniversary of the War Dec, and they still keep coming to the party. Very awesome of them as far as I am concerned, and I know my fellow Rebz have a lot of respect for them as War Targets. Pew Pew is what Eve is all about.
And finally here is a picture of a carrot... that looks kind of like a penis
C U in my gun cams,
Ingvar
